Breaking down the Blogger

So that last blog was intended to send me into some crazy blogging whirlwind where I find myself desperate to get online and write about the many things which have inspired me. To write about how I witnessed or participated in some event which left me incensed and desperate to perpetuate my anger through a written rant.

And I'm still waiting.

- Fuck it. I've never subscribed to the notion that 'patience is a virtue' -

Now I find myself writing despite the absence of such requisite rage or hilarity; I'm writing, effectively, because I've be told to.

- and you've always done what you're told? pfft. ok -

A friend has been enc0uraging me to blog. For what reason I'm not sure. Perhaps to gain further insight into who I really am.

- sneaky bitch, just ask me -

Whatever her reasons, I'm happy to. I just have no idea what to write. I intensely dislike issues over teenage angst and yet in an ironic twist, live a life currently full of them. Thus I find myself at an impasse. I suppose I'm left then, with writing not about life, but about myself.

I'm self-absorbed

- but entirely selfless. -

I am vein

- but overly insecure. -

I love mirrors

- but hate reflections. -

I hate mess

- but am inherently lazy. -

I am a perfectionist

- but too often cannot be bothered. -

I completely cynical

- but hopelessly optimistic. -

I trust too easily

- but question everything. -

I am an old soul

- but I've not experienced the world. -

I am easily amused

- but SO easily bored. -

I am indecisive

- but always assertive. -

I am sincere

- but full of shit. -

I hate loose ends

- but hate tying them up. -

I love to succeed

- but prefer to avoid failure. -

I think I'm the embodiment of binary opposition.

- but maybe I'm more simple that I think. -

Breaking the blogger's virginity

I've sat here looking at this screen for over twenty minutes.

- I'm aware that numbers greater than 10 should use their respective symbols, but there's something I like about the written form of 'twenty' -

Quickly fell bored with scripting sentences; as a first-timer, I felt acutely aware of abiding by any existing conventions. Then I realised that in reality,

- How bizarre to use the word 'reality' in a sentence concerning the 'online' -

the world of blogging exists entirely devoid of any discernible fundamentalism. Though perhaps more pertinent is my propensity toward stream of consciousness, and with that in mind, as I lay awake

- 'awake: adj. completely conscious, mentally perceptive and responsive.' Funny to be awake, by way of technical definition, and perhaps no other -

in bed at 11.45, legs bent to position the laptop at my fingertips, I write my first blog.